time to vent about my mom.

what i can say, SHES SMOTHERING ME.


shes getting so annoying, i js want to leave. for the first time since school started, i finished ALL of my homework at 7, i go downstairs to watch the lakers game, and right when she gets home and i tell her im done with my schoolwork she says ''turn off the tv and go read.'' are you kidding !? i don't get a break EVERY from my mom. i tell her i have an A+ in chem, she yells at me for staying up late to do my homework. she's such a hypocrite. I stay up late to finish my homework, while she stays up late talking on her phone with her stupid boyfriend. REALLY ?! she never asks if i need help with my homework or anything, she comes over to my room and starts screaming at me to hurry up. and i tell her ''im going as fast as i can!'' she js walks away. she never asks how school is for me, if im having fun, if my classes are okay, she just cares about grades. once she saw the B on my grade sheet for math, she's like ''okay, your getting tutored'' and NOW shes signing me up for SAT classes on WEEKDAYS and WEEKENDS. i dont get a break EVER. i never get a ''good job'' or ''im proud of you'' its always a ''hurry up'' or ''i know you can do better.'' sometimes i js want to fail and tell her it's all her fault for signing me up for so much stuff. she wants me to hurry up and do my homework YET she's signing me up for classes that gives me EXTRA homework. is she freaking crazy ?! now i understand why my brother was so stressed and frustrated with my mom that he rebelled and started failing his classes. my mom puts too much pressure on us. she thinks that since she got a masters from college even though she came from vietnam, that all of a sudden, im some kind of genius that could deal with honors, athletics, girl scouts, and extra classes. she yells at me and then goes downstairs and starts laughing with her douche bag boyfriend. she needs to give me MY SPACE and show some APPRECIATION that im not already a high school drop out.


im going to ace highschool and go to college on the east coast not for her, but for me.

get better soon..

DARRIN CHING ! im going to miss your sarcastic jokes and making fun of how short i am xP aha (: please get better soon !


james sutanto ! get better sooon !!! you're one of the really good friends i have and i don't want anything to happen to youu




rest in peace brandon. i know i haven't ever met you, but it seems everyone around me really think your a great guy.

only the 3rd week of school..

AND I HAVE A FREAKING TON OF HOMEWORK ALREADY.

so many tests and homework, its like twice the work of last year --x i'm staying up later just to study. OHMYFREAK. i have a DAMN B in english. i better raise that up before the end of the 6 week grading period because i've NEVER gotten a B in english in my life and i dont want to start noww

hmm school in general is a pain in the ass. but my best buddies know how to make me laugh (: it's fun in chemistry laughing with tim royer and william ! ;D

OHMYGEE. naoki caled me and ASSHOLE today. michelle caled me a slut. SO cameron felt that he should call me a slutty asshole. which i found quite funny BUT STILL NOT COOL

i know you guys are kidding (: but not nice ! if yu guys are reading this, i despise you people in a loving way (:

well this weekend, luckily, i js have to finish up an apbr for homework xP gotta wake up EVEN earlier for bingo clean-up and then i have to MC my sister's silver award ceremony on the same daay xP

so much to do, so little time.

telefono.

my summer wasn't that bad until my phone stopped working. i was full of mixed emotions: pissed, sad, scared, angry,and silent. haven't even told my dad yet because i know he'll be screaming no matter what. don't tell me its no big deal unless you've been through my dad's yells. don't tell me to ''ignore'' his yelling because that will just get me in trouble.

its hard to understand everything that goes on in my family so don't try to think that anyone else has a clue. its not because im just scared of my dad, but its because i care for him. he spends money on ANYTHING i want even if he knows he doesn't have the money for it. i'm not rich, im just really spoiled. all that matters to him is his kids' satisfactions. he yells because he feels as if we dont appreciate it, but he knows we do things on accident.

DONT tell me anything other than its going to be alright because it will go back to normal in a while. dont say ''js stop'' or make rude comments because i'm sick of it. i've put up with a lot of bull with your ''i dont cares'' and ''whatevers'' i dont wanna deal with you right now.


sorry, needed to release anger from me.

but thankfully, out of randys big heart, he's giving me his blackberry he isn't using anymore. thanks randy<3 it means a lot; you are seriously like a big brother to me (: thanks again !

beeach

went to the beach with michelle and shannon on wednesday <3 FREAKIN funn. especially with michelle's sister's three friends ! ahaha i went to the beach again yesterday with my family. it was SO COLLLDD ! and it was only 3 --x but overall it was really fun (: got some yogurt passion from westminster, delicious ;D

scouts this morning til around 2. we had a swimming test at the clubhouse. so useless. FOUR laps to prove that we can go sailing at our camp in like 3 weeks. TREADING for 5 minutes straight was so tiring --x but overall, not so bad ;D

tomorrow, going to keep working on my summer work! MUST get it done

need to hang out moree ! make plans with me !

sch sch schedulee!

SCHEDULEEE for sophmore year:

1. Modern World History Salmons

2. English II Honors Galindo

3. Math Analysis/Calc Honors Brose

4. Spanish II Honors Bento-Smith

5. Chemistry Honors Bravo

6. Basketball Holmes

i've got so much love..

for you darling and i,
i wanna let you know,
how i feel.
and its true,
that i love you,
and its true,
you're the only one,
and i do,
i adore you,
and its true,
you make me feel alivee
-black eyed peas

tt9 was the BOMB. it was so freaking fun and memorable that i can't believe it was over. it didn't really hit me until the bus was leaving the site. i miss it so much i was at tears >:[
it was somewhere that everyone could relate to each other, be themselves, and be able to have fun. im going to miss everyone >:[ team 28 for life !<3 meeting everyone and having to leave them and wait for 4 more years is really unbearable. tt9 made such an impact i really can't believe it ended. i met people that i will probably be friends for life with. it was great to get away from db for a lil. tt9 was like like an inhaler that i needed. im going to miss it so much..

got home yesterday around 9 bc the bus took lke 9 hours to get back to LA. --x usually from norcal, it takes about 6 hours to get here, but apparently not for the buss
but yeeah, today, stayed home and did a LOT of laundry

so screwed with summer work its not even funnnyy.

happy 4th of july (:

today i went to the cabazon outlet. the negative thing was that it was like in the middle of a desert --x i thought i was going to die because it was SO hot today. no joke. once i walked outside of the store, heat js rushed up to my body and i was like HOLY @#$#%#$%^ i even went to random stores to get away from the heat ahaha

after walking around for like EVER, we went to the morango casino next to the outlet and ate at the buffet ;D it was so good and funny. long story between the semi cute waiter and my sister and her wasting food ! ahahha

omg, the slot machines were so tempting AHAHA jk but it seems so fun, its not like im going to be an addict or something though aha


well i hope everyone enjoyed their day (:

hm.

heello againn ! aha i havent updated this thing in a while, just been busy and tired a lot lately xP

well, my daddy came back from vietnam finally! its really great seeing him again and not having to stay with my mom for so many days. dont get it wrong, i love my mom, but sometimes she just gets to me just like any other mom. but her boyfriend is just like ... i dont know, like i cant explain why i dislike him, i just do. its weird but i do, he doesnt deserve to be with someone like my mom. i dont care if my brother and sister think im being absurd for not liking him, but i dont. it isnt the reason because ''i'm not ready for another person in my mom's life'' because i am. i was just fine when my dad brought home people and i am perfectly fine with my stepmom. the person my mom just picked, i dont think hes right. i want my mom to be happy but with someone others would like too. my aunt doesnt even think he's so great. in her opinion, he's ''boring'' and there's ''nothing really special about him''. i honestly dont see how happy he makes her, because i'm pretty sure there are a lot more men better than him. one moment, shes happy with him, the next she's screaming at one of us for doing something. but for right now, i'm living with it. but one wrong move from him, and his ass is GONE. you can repeat me on that one.

well like i said, my dad's back (: finally ! hes spoiling me by buying me a $400 phone after i told him SO MANY times not to. it was so expensive i feel so bad xP i dont care if my sister and brother shake their head at me saying i want it so i had my dad wate money on it, but i told him so many times i didn't want it. i was perfectly fine with the old phone that my mom stopped using.

but yeeah, basketball is a big stress reliever. its so fun being on the jv team. so many friends and the coach is so freaking awesome. so many things happening in basketball its like a holy @!#@%# but our tournament we came in 2nd in our pool ;D basketball is something i can always do whether i'm alone of with friends. it takes my mind off things.

the choice in moving...
i just dont know yet. i'm really moving towards the moving with my dad but idknow. its js so stressful. positives i can be with my dad, start new, and get away from things that upset me at my mom's house. the negatives is leaving all of my friends that mean so much to me behind, not seeing my mom for a while, and leaving all the things i was involved in behind. if i stay, i'll miss my dad a lot and might regret not moving. if i don't stay, i dont know if i can honestly take it.

i'm just taking summer one day at a time. hopefully i'll start my summer work aha
so much to do, so little time.

concert

yes, i have to go to a concert soon and its not like kanye west, jack johnson, or someone. its the pasadena symphony orchestra --x FOR TWO HOURSSS. oh well, i brought cards so I can play with my brother and sister aha

my moms boyfriend came again yesterday and slept over. hes here everyday and its making me angry. like really, he's some kind of creeper. its rare for me to hate someone so much, but i dont like him AT ALL oh well, i'll get used to it for now


well i gotta go eat at a BUFFET ;D but then after is the concert --x

byee !

1st day everyone went to summer school...

EXCEPT ME (: hahahaha that's right people, envy me ! AHA im just playing (:
it sucks though, because i dont get to see anyone because i'm at home and everyone's at school >:[
i miss my friends ! WE NEED to seriously hang out A LOT this summer !

anyways, my first day volunteering at the library ! it was funfun kinda boring but better than staying at home aha
the two other volunteers didn't even show up --x but then this employee who looked like she was 18 was really nice and helped me out (: the kids are so cutee ! but there was this one scary lady, she js kept looking at us and i was like O_O
what sucks is that we can't text or play with our phones OR have any visitors aha xP
but i get to work with willie and vincent on wednesdays ! ;D super funn !

first day going back to basketball practice was funn ! (: a little tiring but i'm okay aha we played 3 pointers knock out and i was so CLOSE to winning but the coaches decided to join aha but it was funn

OKAY. for those of you who are reading this, PLEASE TAKE ME OUT SOMEWHERE. i'm boreeeeddd ! take me outt ! (:

MICHELLES BIRTHDAY

OKAY TO THOSE OF YOU WHO FREAKING FORGOT:

TODAY WAS MICHELLE LEES FREAKING BIRTHDAY !
IF YOU DIDN'T, GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! SHE DESERVES IT!

DEAR MICHELLE,
I'M SO VERY SORRY THAT I DIDN'T GET TO SEE YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY >:[ I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU ! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE THAT A BESTFRIEND CAN DO. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BESTFRIEND<3>I HAVE A FEELING ITS PAST JUNE 13TH BY A COUPLE MINUTES BUT YOU KNW WHAT I MEAN.

so my first week of summer was pretty fun
i went white water rafting from wed.-sat. it was pretty exciting with all the waves and stuff ahaha
it was annoying bc of my moms stupid boyfriend though. he's really pissing me off. but it's okay.
this week begins with all of my friends taking summer school >:[ but i'm super excited to volunteer at the library with willie and vincent ! :D
well yeeah i need to go to sleep, gotta go to scouts tomorrow morning --x haha
and for those of you, STOP PICKING AT SMALL PROBLEMS. goodness, dont make a big deal out of the smallest things, and don't think you can imply something when it wasn't meant.
okay BYE (:

summerr

okay so school's finally over. hurrayy ! no more homework, studying, and boredom aha

so summer began ! so far, it's been pretty funn
thursday: graduation for my brother and sister
friday: ashleys birthday partayyy (: (SARDINES ;D)
saturday: movies w/ shannon and michelle (:
and so on ahaha

im supposed to be going white water rafting tomorrow and its all the way in sacramento --x EIGHT hour drive. and my moms boyfriend is coming too --x so freaking gay.

ANYWAYS, remember, if you're at home with nothing to do, TELL ME.
im not taking summer school so i'll be totally open for any plans !

ooh, and im planning to plan a beach/bonfire day so yeeah
just gotta find a day where there arent so many people there and everyone is like not busy
which is DIFFICULT.

aha yeeah, so my summer plan is to have tons of fun !
hang out with those who dont complain about everything.
okay well see ya ! (:

la tarea

well i havent updated this thing in a while


just a lot of homework
a lot of studying --x

i have two AP book reports due next week --x
math final part 1 to study for
spanish speaking exam tomorrow
and all the other homework my teachers are giving me --x

other than that, nothing really
just the same boring school days aha

lately.

it's been quite some time since i've updated this thing.
not in the mood lately i guesss.
school's been quite a drag. not the best it can be, but close to probably the worse.
js kinda stressed lately.
staying up late with a lot of homework, hearing my parents yell at my brother, seeing my mom's stupid boyfriend everywhere, and so much more;
its all been quite a lot.
i never realized how much he hurt.s. i've done so much to try and stop and i want to stop so badd.
i've tried for so long, it isnt so easy. ive even tried to work it out, but he didnt. everything works if both sides does their part.
i'm tired of it. i'm tired of trying to be to solve it with him, i'm tired of trying to forget, i'm tired of it completely. the only thing i ever asked for was at least the reason why. js WHY. but nothing. i dont get it. i think i deserve js the reason ? if youre going to talk to her, and not me, at least i want to know why. is it because shes skinny as hell, or she dresses way differently then i do? WHY. all i want to know is why our friendship went down the drain. just why... what happened to our promise of sticking through high school together? you were honestly the only one i thought i would go through highscool with. you made all my problems disappear because you knew how to make me laugh and you knew whenever there was something wrong.
i'm sorry if what i did was cause stress and ''drama'' to your life, but you stuck with her so im sure thats nto the reason.
i just want to know why..

this week..

this week was not as well as i expected.
i got sick from wednesday-today >:[ so much headaches, vomiting, and dizziness xP
but im getting bettter
but luckily i thought i failed my bio test bc of one screw up but i ended up getting a B+ bc i did well on the other parts (: but if i didnt do that screw up i couldve gotten a high A >:[ but at least i didnt fail haha
ms chu is such a #@$%$#^$% goodness shes so emotional and everything --x doesnt know how to teach for beans.
i have like an almost 99 in my english class ;D
ahha so im tired and dizzy so i'll stop here

i'll write more laterr.

js a wonderful day..

today was stressful..
im js so frustrated, i js want to release all of my stress and break down.
so my mom told me in the morning to call my dad to take me to the doctors because she ''cant'' because she can't skip work. oh please, she's skipped so many times. so i called my dad in the morning. he's taken me most of the time to my shots so i felt bad that i would have to ask him to drive all the way to corona just to take me to the doctors again. he said he was busy so i called back my mom telling her he was busy. she was like ''well i cant take you because i cant skip work.'' so i gave up my allergy shot which i NEED every week just because my mom ''couldn't take me.'' My dad called later to make sure if i was going. when he found out i wasn't going, he canceled his plans and took me. he drove ALL THE WAY to diamond bar just to take me to the doctors and back. my mom needs to start realizing how much my dad does to help me. he pays for my medicine, my doctor trips. all my mom does is plans them and barely ever takes me. my dad shows that he really cares about me. my mom is all about school and getting scholarships for college. she even registered me (involuntarily) to go to this college orientation this thursday. like really? i'm only a freshman. i just want to run to my dad's house and live there forever.
i got balloons for someone who used to be one of my really bestestest friends. he meant a lot to me, but we're not friends anymore because of something happened last year. well, i've been trying and working my ass off trying to be his friend again, but he keeps ignoring me. it hurt so much. anyways, it was his birthday so i felt that i owed it to at least say happy birthday and get him balloons even if he didnt know who they were from. i text him saying happy birthday and he doesnt even botehr to reply. i mean, really? what did i do? i keep on wondering why he hates me so much. it hurts like no other... i just want to know why.
school was a drag. i took my bio test, and one mess up, and now the highest grade ill get from it is a B-. can you believe it ? one screw up. I worked my ass off to get an A in bio and now one test, my ruin it.

well my days js been confusing..
hopefully it will get better.

the weekend news!

this weekend was okie dokers (:
yesterday, my daddy picked me up from my mom's house and we went to eat dim sum yumm ;D
today, i had fashion show practice for scouts --x heels, the traditional dress, and this HUGE circular flat hat that i have to wear for the fashion show. my feet are sore from the heels aha. but i guess its for a good cause so its good.

this weekend, i did a lot of thinking. I understand better why things you don't want to happen, happen. things that we don't want to happen because it either tests how much we want it or if it was really necessary. Losing friends, drifting apart, all of those kinds of things happen because either it wasn't meant to be or it's a test to how much you want it. You want the person you lost as a friend? Try your best to get him/her back, and then its their part. Don't sit around and mope about it because it won't do you any good.

i've been quite happy this week, quite satisfied. of course i would change some things if i could, but it was quite good. well, that's it for now. write more later (;

friday!

todaayy was interesting.

i left school early, and went to the doctor and allergist.
i got 4 needles stuck into me from the allergist >:[
i hate needles ! AND i got an HPV shot after --x
i went to burger king to meet up with jasmine t., jasmine n. valerie, davina, and sandy.
it was fun actually (: then i went to valeries house with all of them except jasmine t. >;[
we got doughnuts and everything (:
it was cold !! i didnt come home until like 11 and luckily my mom was too sleepy to yell at me ;D

hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ! ill write more tomorrow (:

feeelingg okie dokerss

okkkaayy, so here was my day todaayy:

it was coldd ! which i love (: but then later in the day, it got hot again >:[
stupid weather hahaha (:
practice testing was really boring, i literally zipped though the whole thing and then i began arguing with david otsu and rocco rizzo ;D
english was okie dokers, i dont comprende the story ''Everyman'' but its ok (:
math class: MS CHU. OHMYGOODNESS. she needs to go away!
art, bio, and spanish was fun (:
basketball practice was actually okie dokers. my first time coming back.
it was tiring of course, but my body felt better starting to exercisse again aha

now i am watching the lakers game ! (:


write more later, bye !

hello (:

hello anyone who is reading this (:

i didn't really decide to do this, but michelle forced me to (;
so might as well give it a try. haha

today was quite boring yet usual.
the usual going to classes, talking to friends, going home kind of thing.
highschool is pretty much a drag so far aha


so i'll practice becoming good at this and write more later haha
bye ! (:

OH. and the LAKERS RULE. dont hate (: