why..

is everything seeming to go wrong..?

all the time i've spent studying for everything and it just feels like i'm not good enough. AP tests, omfg, way to boost up some self esteem huh? Not. I've had such a busy schedule this past year that I haven't really done anything that I want. I've been stuck at Lee's Review for hours at a time or in the stupid gym with my FREAKING ANNOYING coach who loves nothing more than to criticize my every move. Why do I even put up with all of this bullshit. I have been telling myself that all of this was for college, for my future. Why am I even lying to myself. I'm freaking considered like average here at my freaking high school. All these people getting better grades, better SATs, better everything. The last time I've gotten straight As on my report card was middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL DAMN IT. I've done all of this to be considered the average one at school.
Being rejected by 2/2 internships just makes everything even better. All of my extracurriculars that I put down, my ''achievements'', that all got me rejection letters by email. Great stuff huh. I'm done crying for all of this. I'm sick of this year. You know what's even worse? Having that feeling where you think you're losing your best friend. The one you thought this whole time was there for you through thick and thin, and then all of a sudden, the person's slowly drifting away. I thought we were the best of friends, so tight that that's why people say that our friendship was going to last. Now, you can't even answer the question of who is your best friend. You're my MAIN bestfriend, but it's okay, I'm not going to force anything on you. Maybe I'm the one who has changed, slowly becoming bitchy or something because of all this stress. I don't know, the whole feeling just sucks.